Jinx

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with another single gal about my love life, or lack thereof. I explained to her that I have not even had a "potential" in my life for the longest time. Why is it that a girl like me is still single? I truly do not even want a relationship. My life is way too busy right now. Is that why I'm single? Her and I thought about it. Maybe our love of the single life and complete lack of interest in most males (not all, we are human ;) ) has kept us right where we claim we want to be. The only time being single, up to this point in my life, is really a problem is wedding season. The excitement, the flowers, the dresses, the invitation....oh wait!...me plus 1! SHIT! This is always a problem. The big question no longer is about the hair, the shoes, the gift, but rather the date. Who can I ask? I can't ask him because that would be awkward; I can't ask him because he might get the wrong idea; I can't ask him because he might say no... The result is single me plus 1 of my best gal pals. And life goes on as normal. But still in the back of my mind, I wonder why does it never work out? 

And then JINX! That conversation totally and utterly jinxed my ass. Now I am in a position that I do not like at all. Where is that single girl that can't find a date and has nobody knocking on her door/calling her cell phone? She was happy with that life, regardless of her complaining/wondering. What do you do when when of your friends likes you, but you do not even have one iota of feeling for him beyond just friends? That line between friends and more than friends is a damn thin line if you ask me. He knows that I know. How do I say, "sorry, I'm just not that into you." It seems a little harsh. And after that, will we still be friends? Fat chance...we won't be friends like we were before all of this stuff entered the equation. In math, you can't just throw stuff onto one side of the equation and nothing on the other. It changes the whole value of the equation. He threw his lust out there, but my side has not changed. This leads to a problem in the math world and in mine. Hmmm...maybe I'll be able to get one of my friends to tell him that it's never going to happen like we all liked to do in middle school...or was that 5th grade? Anyway, for now I am still a single girl holding out for my true love, who I am sure is just waiting for me in Paris.